Heaven's Not Enough
by Gackt no hime
Summary: BartlebyLoki SLASH! Where is heaven? What is heaven? What happens when one discovers heaven too late?


Title: Heaven's not enough…
    Fandom: DOGMA
    Author: Gackt no Hime (Gacktnohime@aol.com)
    Rating: R (?)- for language and slash content
    Pairing: Bartleby/Loki
    Genre: tragedy/angst
    Disclaimer: _Dogma_ is not mine, neither is the song "heaven's not enough". I am not laying any claims on these marvelous pieces of work: they belong to whoever they be long to, and sadly, that's not me…
    WARNING!: THIS IS SLASH! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! All flames will be posted on my LJ so my friends and I can laugh. Constructive criticism is welcomed. And I can tell between the two.
    AN: This is a songfic to the song "heaven's not enough" by Steve Conte from the second _Wolf's Rain _soundtrack. It's a very beautiful and very sad song, go listen to it!
    "speech"
    'thought'
    _lyrics
    _
    HEAVEN'S NOT ENOUGH…
    _heaven's not enough
    if when you get there..
    just another blue
    and heaven's not enough
    you think you've found it
    and it loses you
    _
    "Hey, Loki."
    "Yeah?"
    "I'm sorry…"
    "…"
    "Lok—?"
    "What are you sorry for?"
    "For getting you banished from heaven."
    Loki looked up at his taller companion and smiled, "What are you talking about? Heaven's right here."
    Bartleby looked confused. "What do you mean?"
    Loki leaned up and pressed his lips firmly against Bartleby's.
    _you've thought of all there is
    but not enough
    and it loses you in a cloud
    _
    "We're going home."
    Bartleby's statement made Loki stared at the dark-haired angel dumbfounded.
    'Home? What do you mean, home? I am home!' Loki thought with desperation, as Bartleby explained how the plenary indulgence thing works. 'Doesn't he get it? Our love can never be back 'home'!' the Angel of Death wanted to scream out. But it came out as, "Where's this church that we have to go to?"
    'As long as Bartleby's happy…'
    _"there" most everything is nothin'
    that it seems
    "where" you see the things you only wanna see
    _
    "It's not right! It's not fair!" Bartleby yelled in anger. "Don't you think it's time? Don't you think it's time we went home?"
    Loki was at a lost as to how to answer. But Bartleby wasn't waiting for an answer, and he continued to rant. And Loki finally realized, with raising alarm, why Bartleby's speech sounded so familiar.
    "You sound like the Morning Star."
    "You shut your fucking face!" Bartleby screamed in Loki's face.
    "You do! You sound like Lucifer, man! You fucking lost it! You're not talking about going home anymore, Bartleby! You're talking about fucking war on God."
    Loki could see that he wasn't getting through to his friend. How come he didn't realize he was losing his friend?
    _I'd fly away
    to a higher plane
    to say words I resist
    to float away
    to sigh
    to breathe.... forget.
    _
    The warm brown eyes he once knew were frozen with a dangerous glint. This wasn't his Bartleby anymore.
    "I'm going back to Wisconsin," Loki said, walking away, hoping that Bartleby found him important enough to abandon this whole thing for. 'Please, let him wake up and come home to me.'
    _and heaven's not enough
    if when I'm there I don't remember you
    and heaven does enough
    you think you know it
    and it uses you
    _
    Loki was surprised when the darker angel grabbed him by the front of his shirt and shoved him back against a pillar. The blonde's protest was cut short when he felt Bartleby's mouth pressed against his in a bruising kiss, and a slick tongue forcing its way into his mouth.
    _I saw so many things
    but like a dream
    always losing me in a cloud
    _
    "We're going home, Loki," Bartley said, when he finally pulled away. "And no one, not you, not even the Almighty Himself, is gonna make that otherwise." Smirking, he allowed his fingers to ghost over Loki's kiss swollen lips for a second before he walked away.
    "Shit."
    Bartleby's lost, and Loki cried.
    _'cause I couldn't cry
    'cause I turned away
    couldn't see the score
    _
    "Soon a cadre of police will arrive just in time to kill us as we exit the church. Then this failed experiment called existence will cease to be."
    Through his drunken state, Loki managed to convince himself that what Bartleby is going was wrong.
    "No. I can't let you do that, Bartleby. This has gone too far."
    "My compatriot," Bartleby said with a smirk that set off all the warning bells the Angel of Death had, but Loki refused to believe that Bartleby would hurt him.
    _ didn't know the pain
    of leaving yesterday really far behind
    _
    Madness took over Bartleby. For one instant, he forgot who Loki was, and saw only what Loki is. Blood poured from the wound he inflicted, staining his hand red.
    _ in another life
    in another dream
    by a different name
    _
    Blue stared up into brown, filled with pain, betrayal, and, in spite of it all, love.
    It was a familiar blue, Bartleby decided, before dropping the dead weight.
    "Why?" Loki's last desperate thought brushed Bartleby's mind, and faded away before Bartleby could come up with a response.
    _gave it all away
    for a memory
    and a quiet lie
    _
    The now-mortal Bartleby threw open the church doors, but he couldn't shake the sense that something's missing. Light poured through the doors, and before him, after all these eons, was God. He was before heaven, but for the first time, he realized that his heaven was blue.
    And his heaven is dead. 'Loki…'
    _and I felt the face
    of a cold tonight
    still don't know the score
    _
    "I'm sorry."
    So inadequate, yet it was all he could offer.
    She understood, and he fell into Her embrace, seeking the comfort and forgiveness he needed but knew he couldn't get from Her. She was no longer the presence that he ached for. Tears flowed from his closed eyes, as he tried to shut out the sight of Loki's bloodied body, the sight of Loki's blood on his hands.
    _but I know the pain
    of leaving everything really far behind
    _
    She pulled away, and Bartleby understood.
    "Thank you."
    And she sang, for all the lives lost, and for the love that never came to be.
    _and if I could cry
    and if I could live what truth I did then take me there
    _
    "Loki, I'm sorry."
    "What are you sorry for?"
    _heaven goodbye
    _
    ~FIN~
    Review please! This is my first _Dogma_ fic, so gimme plenty of feed back! Or just to let me know you read it! PLEASE!!! Should I do an epilogue type of thing?
    


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